katie's little brother
by Kate LaDew
katie’s mother watches the cars constant and unmoving
like a fixed star
her little brother was dead and everyone said they
were handling it great so far
twin broken hearts with blue eyes, one parched and
sere watching the other one cry
because katie forgets sometimes like falling asleep
with the tv on
breaking the internal rhyme of her mind’s design,
recorded voices weaving inside
flying and falling off cliffs, mixing with the
senseless maybes and what ifs
remembering tommy alive was like passing by a closed
dresser drawer
you would have to open up wide to see inside, so now
she keeps her clothes on the floor
her mother locks tommy’s room, a prisoner of war
preparing for doom
katie begins her regretting when the sun is done
setting and wakes up forgetting
at the cafe it’s been real slow, her apron’s loose,
the griddle’s cold, and katie waits,
looking out the window, he says she’s real pretty,
some damn fine cooking
but hey you’re good looking’s never worked outside the
city
she punches her card, walks to the door, blue eyes on
guard for new bars
where they’ve never seen her before, this town’s too
small to make last call ignored
katie’s so tired of lying, of trying to pretend she’s
been crying
katie’d watched it too, watched people jump from metal
fires
watched them tumble down spires, all it inspired was a
sudden desire to want it all through,
call a cease fire, get her world back anew, tommy was
her brother, her one little brother, but one way or
another he was going to die, his choice, his vow to
revenge, give the country a hoist with all of his
voice, real tough guy, willing to avenge strangers,
forget danger, offer himself up for a lie
katie drives fast, lights flashing off chrome, using
up all of her gas
outrunning a ghost following her home
she begins her regretting when the sun is done
setting, katie wakes up forgetting and
watches her mother cry, watches her mother die,
waiting for tears to drop down her face
waiting for the hope to subside of an imaginary place
where little brothers never die
she wants tommy back to fix the crack breaking across
her back like a ground attack
he was young, he was brave, a tool in a duel between
fools too cruel to save
tommy was her brother, her one little brother, she
won’t get another
katie wants to forget, an old desire to want it all
through
to get back her life and her brother brand new
when she wakes up she’s met with a debt of regret and
she can’t make it okay
she’ll walk through the day, meet eyes with a grin and
try to allay
the questions that begin when her smile starts to wear
thin
katie waits for her brother to come back,
rescue her mother from the friendly fire of her own
attack
katie begins her regretting when the sun is done
setting,
she wakes up forgetting, she wakes up alone sins
unatoned
Kate LaDew is a recent graduate from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro with a BA in Studio Art.